Living Life Crazy Loud

As this post’s title states, I am living life crazy loud. It’s a quote I stole from a song, but it has resonated with me lately. For most of my life I have played it safe. I don’t do “crazy” or “loud” for that matter. I like, no, I LOVE rules. I make plans for fun. I highly doubt people would describe me as crazy, but why should that stop me from living crazy? Take a walk on the wild side, do something unexpected. Although, here I am blogging about being crazy.

As for the loud part, I am only loud in certain circumstances, usually involving my family, close friends, and/or alcohol.

As much rambling and nonsense this post is, I do have a point (I think). I do live crazy loud. My clothing is bright and my accessories around the apartment rarely match and vibrate color. My favorite color is yellow, which is the craziest and loudest color obviously.

Maybe my point is that I need to take more chances. Maybe I need to live life crazy loud, isn’t that what it’s all about, anyway?


It’s funny how life can change within a few months. When I graduated college in December, I felt like I had it all together. I had just finished college a semester early, even after transferring my sophomore year and studying abroad, completed a fulfilling internship, had my family, friends, and boyfriend in tow, and a whole lot of confidence that I would find a job soon.

Now? I still have my degree, have lost any confidence that I might find a job that relates in any way to my degree, and rediscovering myself after a heart-wrenching break up.

I know I’m not alone in the post-graduation, downward spiral of soul searching, and loss of childhood innocence where we can be and do whatever we dream. Apparently, post-graduation depression is a real syndrome, and I think I’m just skimming the surface. Honestly, I wasn’t the person who was so into college life. I worked 5 nights a week (at the same restaurant I still work at), didn’t drink or party, and was in a pretty serious, long-term relationship. I loved classes though, which explains how I graduated early.

So, where do I go now? I turn 22 in a few months, and while that used to be really old, it now seems super young. Ten years ago if you asked me where I would be at 22 I would’ve said: a published author, engaged to be married, living in a beautiful house I bought, and loving life. Being an adult now I see how unrealistic these goals were for a 22 year old. Most people don’t hit the majority of those goals until they’re 30. I guess I have some time.

After months of dealing with a dizzying heartbreak, confusing job searching, and self-disappointment, I am learning to deal with the fact that I am still young. I still have time to complete all these goals. And hopefully, my next blog post will be slightly more uplifting.

I know I haven’t blogged a lot, but in light of the 180 degree turn my life has taken, I figure maybe writing will help. Or just spewing random words. So for this first post back, I am sharing a poem I wrote a year or two ago, but that still pertains greatly to my life.


You lean in close, start to kiss me.
(I flash back)
Hands around my throat.
Kisses are extinct.
Blood bleeds bright breaking my back; match your scars exact.

Hands attached to you;
Unfamiliar and cruel.
Tears stream endlessly,
No life behind your eyes.

Silent screams saturate space.
Mumbled pleas go unanswered.
Angry threats hit harder;
Fall to the floor, shattered life all around.

Hands attached to you,
Same as before
Gently caress my flesh,
Excitement builds behind your eyes.

Same deepened breath,
Screaming not the same.
On the floor crying,
My heart remains unchanged.

So, the last time I updated I was in England. Geez, it’s been a while. I have been home for 2 months now (crazy!!!) and a lot has happened. I’m going to try to sum up my experiences since I last wrote, but I have a feeling I might miss a little. Ok let’s see how this goes…

I went to Sicily with my amazing friends Felicia and Jordan. We had the time of our lives (even though we had the longest traveling schedules ever, and also got horrific sunburns). The food was amazing, the wine was indescribable, and the gelato in a bun was an experience. It is definitely a trip I will never forget.

I got home in April, not soon after that it was Easter, and then I went back to work. I wore a kilt a lot, served plenty of beer and food, and took home some cash. Soon enough it was May, and my man graduated from college. I am so incredibly proud of everything he accomplished (he got a job–on the spot–at the first place he applied to!). He continues to grow and impress me. I threw him a total surprise party. It went off without a hitch, and he definitely deserved it!! It was great fun.

In June, I went to my little brother’s graduation. I cannot believe he is old enough to graduate High School. It is ridiculous!! But again, very proud and can’t wait to see where he goes in life!

I started a new internship with Stage of Life blog. It has been a great learning experience already, and I can’t wait to grow with the company!

All in all, I have adjusted decently well. I still miss England at times and especially all of the friends I made there. But, as they say, home is where the heart is.


Hey everyone just a quick blurb…I am currently in the midst of writing my FINAL papers 🙂 But I just noticed that I hit 1,000 views for this blog which is pretty major! So, I just had to share the news with everyone! Thanks to everyone who reads my nonsense. Love to all!


Now back to academia so that I can go on my travels in less than a week!

Hey everyone!

I apologize for not updating sooner! Time seems to get away from me here…which is quite dangerous. I think that I have learned to relax, and then have taken it to new extremes. But I am having a great time doing it! Anyway, much has happened since I last posted, so I will try to recap as much as I can remember.

I went to Paris! Gosh, it was beautiful. The city was the prettiest, and cleanest, city that I have been to (with the exception of Rome, but ya know, I have to promote my roots!). The food was fantastic, especially the dessert. 

Looks delicious right now doesn’t it? Anyway, our hotel room had a gorgeous view of the Eiffel Tower. At night, the tower lights up and glitters. It’s a gorgeous sight. The one negative side of Paris, is that they speak French. I know, how DARE they? Don’t they know I am an ignorant American who wants everything in English?  But I will say that every French person I met was very helpful, or at least tried to be. The myth of rude Parisians did not hold up for me.

All of the sights and architecture was amazing. I cannot believe some of those things were built so long ago!!

When we got back, it was time for St. Patrick’s Day! While it isn’t a big holiday here, the Americans were determined to do it up right–though many of us did not wear green, oops. We went to a club in Liverpool, and danced our little hearts out until the wee hours of the morning. It was a good time, and also the first time I haven’t worked on St. Patricks day! 

Obviously none of us were really ready for this picture, which makes it even better! What can I say, Americans know how to celebrate Irish holidays!

The next day we took a day trip to Chester. Because of the late night, we did not get to Chester as early as we had hoped. We went to the zoo there, and then met up with Thelma and her brother, who was visiting. It was such a cute, quaint English town!

The trip to Chester was short, and I wish we had done it sooner!

That weekend, it was my British friend, Duncan’s, birthday! He did a Lonely Island theme. For those of you who don’t know what the Lonely Island is, SHAME. It’s a spoof artist from SNL (Saturday Night Live). They make ridiculous songs, and even more ridiculous videos. Google them, it’s a good laugh.

This past weekend, Thelma and I went to the Lake District. It was nice to get out for the weekend. It was such a gorgeous town. We ate too much, but we enjoyed every second of it! We also stayed at a Bed and Breakfast which was so fun. I felt like I was staying at Grandmas. We did a boat tour of the lake, I have yet to upload those pictures, but I promise they are coming!

Now is time to crack down on the papers I must write. Jordan, Felicia, and I go to Sicily one week from Wednesday! Which, while extremely exciting, also means all of our work must be done by then!

I come home April 17–I fully expect a big party in my honor. Or just a bunch of hugs welcoming me back to the good ol’ USA.

Until later guys,



Hey all! I know I have been so bad with updates lately…but that’s a good thing for me because I have been so busy 🙂 My parents and little sister were here for five days! It was so nice to see them in person! We spent a lot of time catching up, but also a lot of time visiting family in Scotland. We didn’t stay in one place for two nights at all! We traveled from Preston to the Lake District to Glasgow to Edinburgh to Liverpool to Ormskirk(my school’s hometown :)) and finally to Manchester for them to fly home. I enjoyed showing them around here and having my friends meet my family. Also, the American food that I received wasn’t half bad 😉

The day after my parents left (and yes, it was a tearful good-bye, as always) the girls and I were off to BARCELONA! There was five of us all together. The trip started a bit rocky, as we almost missed the flight! But no worries, we are really good at running! After that it was smooth sailing. We stayed in a hotel outside the city, with two rooms. I want to state this for the record: staying in a hotel is 1000x better than staying at a hostel. It’s private, you can leave your stuff lying around, and the showers are nicer.

Barcelona is beautiful. The sun is just what we all needed–it really doesn’t shine in the UK! It was warm, the food was amazing, the sangria was even better, and the company was perfect. We did a lot of walking and touristy site-seeing, but totally worth it.

Unfortunately, our last full day there, I got sick. I missed out on some things, but it was best for me not to push it. I would’ve been miserable and grumpy (hard to imagine, I know).

I picked out some of my favorite pictures, so I hope you enjoy 🙂

Sangria. Possibly the best drink ever invented.

The five of us on day one. Me, Felicia, Jordan, Thelma, and Anastasia.

View from the top? Kind of the top anyway.

Olympic Stadium!

Thelma and I doing cartwheels in the sun!

Beautiful 🙂

On the double decker tourist bus!

The Lee girls out on the town 😉

Until next time (and I promise to update more often!!)