Archive for August, 2013

So, today I have been narrowing down my list of graduate schools I want to apply to, and subsequently, working on the application forms. In direct effect of this action, I have decided to write this blog. Why, you ask? Well, to do what I do best: procrastinate. What did you think I was going to say? Writing? If you think “writing” is what I do best then you must not know many writers.

Here is how a writer works: first, we decide that something needs to be written, and we are obviously the chosen ones. Then, we spend some time on Facebook and Twitter, slowly moving to BuzzFeed. When we are really low, we peruse Tumblr. This is done, naturally, in the name of “research.”

After that hard days work, most writers are tired. We concede to “start the project” tomorrow, after a good night’s rest. Except we stay up all night watching Netflix and Friends re-runs on Nick at Nite. We can’t all be perfect people.

But it’s a new day now. One where we will write something that will inspire the world! Enter: staring at a blank white screen for a solid 45 minutes. You check Twitter. Decide that if you are ever going to get anything done, you must turn off your internet. Stare at the screen for another 5 minutes before checking Twitter on your phone. Dammit technology, there is no escaping you! And, we, as writers, have very little will power.

My favorite trick has been the reward system. If I write for an hour, then I get (blank) after. Well, I’ve already spent 50 minutes staring at the screen, so only ten more minutes before I can watch the new Kardashians episode (don’t judge me, it’s research!).

I sit perched with my fingers on the keyboard. Any minute now inspiration will strike. I start writing nonsensical sentences: “It was the worst of times, it was the well…ok of times.” You and I both know this is a rip off/doesn’t make much sense, but I can’t delete it, otherwise there will be no proof of my hard work.

I actually write for a solid half hour. Chances are what I have written makes no sense, and will never see the final draft, but I’ve done it. And boy, am I exhausted. (Even during the writing of this blog, I checked Facebook and Twitter. I’m procrastinating from my procrastinating hobby).

So, when people ask why I need to go to graduate school and why not “just write a novel in your free time?” I will show them this.

But then they will show me graduate school applications and I will be lost in the hopelessness that is the procrastination circle.

Writers, I know I’m not alone in this. Stand up and claim your procrastination!


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